Beijing 2008 Opening Ceremony - An Analysis

The Beijing 2008 Opening Ceremony only finished some hours ago and what an impressive, majestic and unforgettable performance it was!

The sights!
The sounds!
The emotions!

It is no doubt the most spectacular opening ceremony in all of Olympic history and one that the Chinese people should be proud of for years to come.

To show my appreciation and utter adoration for the Chinese people and their culture, I will give a brief analysis of the opening ceremony.

The giant glowing scroll unfurling across Beijing’s Bird’s Nest stadium floor symbolizes the copious - daunting - paperwork that must be lodged to gain permission to conduct any kind of public protest.

The thousands of rising and falling oblongs flowing like a wave across the scroll symbolize China’s blistering economic growth.

The aerial acrobats rising high above the stadium symbolize the temporary lifting of internet restrictions and censorship for foreign journalists for the duration of the Games. Their return to Earth symbolizes the inevitable clamping down when the Games are over and everyone has left.

The elegant undulations of the rhythmic gymnasts’s ribbons symbolize the glorious balance of trade figures achieved by the Chinese economy and the fluttering fortunes of its competitors. The ribbons are in perfect sync with the gymnast. Likewise, the Chinese currency Yuan is pegged to the American Dollar. Whichever direction the US Dollar will go, the Chinese Yuan will go also.

Hundreds of drummers pounding a furious, breakneck beat symbolize the relentless pace of China’s manufacturing sector. The loud systematic banging of the drums also symbolizes the horde of internet Chinese nationalists who will shout down anyone who dares to criticize Mother China.

The giant, majestic blue whale projected against the sides of the stadium symbolizes the great and glorious Chinese economy that has set out to devour the chaotic and disorganized krill economies of Africa.

The human tank rolling into what appears to be a temple-shaped enclosure symbolizes the Chinese Government’s fondness for the people of Tibet and its desire to protect them from the worries that accompany political and cultural autonomy.

This much we know, but questions remain.

Will anyone be able to see the ceremony through Beijing’s smog?
When the Taiwan team (competing here as “Chinese Taipei”) marches into the stadium, will its flag and team members’ faces be pixellated?
Will the grandeur of the Opening Ceremony wash away the slightly bitter taste left when the Games of the XXIX Olympiad were awarded to a country that struggles with the philosophy of the Olympic movement - excellence, friendship and respect - and where equality and openness are observed only in the breach?
Will the audience’s cynicism about the Games be bought off by their own respective nation’s first gold medal?

Let’s hope not.


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