Invisible Sky Magician’s Happy Little Blog Of Tolerance

The Beijing 2008 Opening Ceremony only finished some hours ago and what an impressive, majestic and unforgettable performance it was!

The sights!
The sounds!
The emotions!

It is no doubt the most spectacular opening ceremony in all of Olympic history and one that the Chinese people should be proud of for years to come.

To show my appreciation and utter adoration for the Chinese people and their culture, I will give a brief analysis of the opening ceremony.

The giant glowing scroll unfurling across Beijing’s Bird’s Nest stadium floor symbolizes the copious - daunting - paperwork that must be lodged to gain permission to conduct any kind of public protest.

The thousands of rising and falling oblongs flowing like a wave across the scroll symbolize China’s blistering economic growth.

The aerial acrobats rising high above the stadium symbolize the temporary lifting of internet restrictions and censorship for foreign journalists for the duration of the Games. Their return to Earth symbolizes the inevitable clamping down when the Games are over and everyone has left.

The elegant undulations of the rhythmic gymnasts’s ribbons symbolize the glorious balance of trade figures achieved by the Chinese economy and the fluttering fortunes of its competitors. The ribbons are in perfect sync with the gymnast. Likewise, the Chinese currency Yuan is pegged to the American Dollar. Whichever direction the US Dollar will go, the Chinese Yuan will go also.

Hundreds of drummers pounding a furious, breakneck beat symbolize the relentless pace of China’s manufacturing sector. The loud systematic banging of the drums also symbolizes the horde of internet Chinese nationalists who will shout down anyone who dares to criticize Mother China.

The giant, majestic blue whale projected against the sides of the stadium symbolizes the great and glorious Chinese economy that has set out to devour the chaotic and disorganized krill economies of Africa.

The human tank rolling into what appears to be a temple-shaped enclosure symbolizes the Chinese Government’s fondness for the people of Tibet and its desire to protect them from the worries that accompany political and cultural autonomy.

This much we know, but questions remain.

Will anyone be able to see the ceremony through Beijing’s smog?
When the Taiwan team (competing here as “Chinese Taipei”) marches into the stadium, will its flag and team members’ faces be pixellated?
Will the grandeur of the Opening Ceremony wash away the slightly bitter taste left when the Games of the XXIX Olympiad were awarded to a country that struggles with the philosophy of the Olympic movement - excellence, friendship and respect - and where equality and openness are observed only in the breach?
Will the audience’s cynicism about the Games be bought off by their own respective nation’s first gold medal?

Let’s hope not.

Top tier: Japanese - have contempt for everyone because they’re the best and they know it. They also have the whitest skin.

2nd tier: Taiwanese - they’re the descendants of the Chinese elite and bourgeoisie. As such, their women are generally better-looking and more refined.

3rd tier: Korean - integration of plastic surgery into mainstream culture has greatly improved their looks, but there isn’t much substance to fake beauty.

4th (mid) tier: Singaporean - similar to the Taiwanese, though there are also dark-skinned niggers from South-East Asia swimming around in their gene pool.

5th tier: Chinese - mostly the descendants of peasants who make up the majority of the 1.3 billion population. That’s a lot of butt-ugly people. Poor nutrition and questionable hygiene in recent centuries have resulted in a beating from the ugly stick and many malformations during child development. Mexicans of East Asia.

6th tier: Indonesians and most minority groups (Laos, Hmongs, Tibetans, etc.) - mostly devoid of looks and refinement. Peasants, all of them. Generally tend to have darker skin.

Bottom tier: Filipinos - the niggers of East Asia. And with the nigger culture to boot (rap, ghetto-slang, etc). Was also raped repeatly by spics in its history. A pure combination of failure.

Lower-than-bottom tier: Indians - self-explanatory.

Well fine, 9. I started late.

(9) UK Cartoon characters created to warn children as young as 5 about the dangers of online pedophiles; bemused 5 year old girl wonders why her offline mother/father/aunt/uncle/etc is licking her wee-wee.
(8) New special deal in uncivilized America: Buy a new car, get a free gun! Drive by shooting incidents reach unprecedented levels.
(7) Eurovision may go to Africa and the Middle East. Greatest thing since sliced Sudoku, “Clickity-Click-Click KA-BOOM!” songs to take/destroy the world by storm.
(6) Chinese soldiers are robots.
(5) China finally unblocks the BBC website after 18 years. Amnesty International, Human Rights Watch, Reporters Without Borders, Wikileaks, etc still on the waiting list.
(4) 111 countries agree to ban cluster bombs. The only countries that HAVE cluster bombs (United States, Russia, China, India, Israel and Pakistan) absent from meeting and thus, not part of agreement. Net effect = shit-fucking-all.
(3) Burma/Myanmar suffers devastating cyclone. When asked about the situation 1 month later, media/public/average joe responds: “Duurrr… Burma? What’s that? Is that edible? ‘Cause it sure sounds tasty!”
(2) Josef Fritzl, Australian, basement-dungeon, rapist pedophile has incest sex with his daughter. Then makes babies with his daughter. Then has incest sex with his daughter’s children (his grandchildren). Crikey!
(1) Chinese quake death toll expected to be over 80,000. Sweet sweet justice! (No punchline here, folks!)

Did I miss anything? Any other news and events worthy of submission?

Then leave a comment below.

Hello world indeed.

If you, somehow, are a past reader of my blog (what are you? crazy? mentally unstable?), then please acquaint yourself with my new blog here at Baywords. Well, it’s not really a new one as such since all the old google “blogger” postings and comments have been transferred from there to here so nothing is missing.

Why stop using Google’s Blogger? Because I’d trust the owners of baywords to be in a better position to be a little more active in protecting their (and our) right to freedom of speech/expression without censorship. Google, who are conflicted in their desire to “do no evil” while at the same time appeasing their shareholders (who want profit at the cost of everything else), not so much. Yahoo, even less. (Fuck you Jerry Yang)

If you, however, are new, and not familiar with this blog is about, then chances are, you probably never will. Kindly get the fuck out.

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